Songs of the Night

Sitting by my window, I watch as the darkness deepens,
Rejoicing the dawn of stillness, when everyone has drawn the curtains.
With no being stirring, this silence I dare not tease,
Drenched in my blissful solitude, with not a soul to please.

Losing what the day had brought, I converse with my dreams and designs,
Shedding others’ hopes and plans, left with only what is mine.
The wind makes me a promise, to carry me to my haven,
To take me to lands unseen, to attain all that I have craven.

Staring steadily out the door, I continue to be seduced by the dark
Learning about the joy of muteness, and the charm of the stark.
What a shame it is to sleep, and to wake up to the light,
Not to hear the unsung melody, and miss the songs of the night.

I gaze dreamily through the mist,
as the rain kisses the earth,
The dew descends on the grass,
and a longing takes birth.
To smile at your face,
while the wind runs through your hair,
To get drenched in this downpour,
so that no one sees my tear.

What a time it is for the parted souls,
to mourn and weep and mope,
Unseen in the privy fog,
lament covered under the cloudy cloak.
To pour their hearts brimming with grief,
like adding a drop in this deluge,
To let go of the dreams and memories,
which they no longer can use.

So I stand with my arms outstretched,
letting the breeze graze my face,
Submitting to the sky overcast,
absorbing the exhilarating pace.
For the water to seep through my skin,
and wash away all my pain,
And the wind to restore the life in me,
and dissolve my tears in the rain.

You smiled at me when everyone scorned,

You sang with me, when I was out of tune.

When I had no rhythm, you taught me to dance,

When I erred, you gave me another chance.

While I walked on, you took your turns to join me,

I can never be lonely, all the way you reminded me.

Braving the downpour, sheltering me from the sun,

We all would walk, skip, glide and sometimes run.

Some of us changed paths, but in my heart you will always remain,

I shall treasure our memories, for nothing they will ever be bargained.

Because you touched my tears, and turned them into pearls of joy,

You always stood by me, and never asked how or why.

Words are all I have to thank you, and even they fall short,

For inducting me in your life, and for crossing my path.

You shall always be a part of me, wherever I go,

This candle shall always burn, no matter how much the wind blows.

Sometime when I lie awake, and it’s cold and dark and still,

I can hear muffled voices, coming from deep within.

Of dreams unfulfilled, of promises unkept,

Of tales untold, and of thoughts unsaid.

I face the mirror, gazing into my own eyes,

In search of that candor, entangled in the web of lies.

I long for that beam, with which my face had once shone,

In place of this synthetic sheen, worn in the fear of being alone.

I walk down the forgotten lane, trying to resurrect dead memories,

To revisit the innocent laughter, recreate those beautiful sceneries.

I am met with no one, the lane is now a wretched wasteland,

It has all abandoned me, like through one’s fingers slips sand.

The dawn has cracked, my surroundings are filled with light,

I put on my mask, preparing for another wingless flight.

I leave my abode, hoping for the day to be endless,

I dread being alone with myself, cannot bear another night sleepless.

The deluge of voices in this sea of people,

Drowning the valiant cries of my struggle.

Where am I headed towards, I knew if only,

In the company of millions, yet so lonely.

The road has no name, it leads to every place,

I wonder if it will take me to the one, to whom I am not just a face.

I walk with countless bodies, but no one holds my hand,

No one makes me smile, no one to steer me to the bank.

I rummage for warmth, strain my ears to hear a symphony,

But all I am met with is the cold stares, amidst the cacophony.

I scan every vacant eye, search those faces of stone,

In the hope of a gleam, which will thrill me to the bone.

My heart says that he too waits for me, enduring the same pain,

Walking behind me, or crouched in the nook of some lane.

The universe will conspire for our paths to cross and eyes to meet,

After all good things come not to those who wait, but to those that seek.

Those nights I spent immersed in you,

Those days I began with your name,

Those moments in which you were so real to me,

Those times I believed things could remain the same.

In the past, it is so far far away,

But still seems like it was yesterday,

Refusing to leave my despondent thoughts,

Tormenting me, wreaking a havoc.

They have come, they have gone,

But somehow you seem to hold on,

To that lonely nook in my heavy heart,

Appears tiny but occupies the whole compass.

Love unrequited, answers unfulfilled,

Desires unaccomplished, or is it my own guilt,

Eager to return to that blissful place,

Going back there, tracing our steps.

I beg, I pray , I plead, I cry in dismay,

For your memories to go away,

So that I can again feel complete,

Savor every hour before they quickly fleet.

Life doesn’t cease, I still exist,

Going through the daily rituals, testing my grit,

With a silent prayer on my lips to whoever who listens,

Take me from the melancholy, don’t let my eyes moisten.

A Day in Life

I gaze into the space infinite, sparkling with stars countless,

While I voyage through the tar and bricks, where one is there, yet so faceless.

The moon follows my steps; it shines in all its glory,

Ah the benevolence it radiates; and I know that I am not solitary.

I reach my vacant dwelling; all weary and comfortless,

No one to wipe my silent tear; not a soul to whom I can undress,

Listless I gaze up again; and am met with mates illimitable,

Their splendor lifts my sullen face, and I know I am indomitable.

The birds are chirping and the sun has risen, freeing from the night’s embrace,

My mates have vanished and my grit is waning; the unsparing world again I have to face.

A fragrant breeze wafts from nowhere and brushes softly against my face,

I consume its ambrosial, rejuvenating scent; and I know that I am safe.

I set out again on my journey; the expedition for excellence and accolades,

I must brave the maddening tussle; I am sure I don’t want to fade.

The sun shines blazes on other’s heads; they think it is cruel,

But I see its unique hue of red; and I know that I am real.

I have lasted an another; a day of trial and tribulations,

Spoken to by a million tongues; but not a sign of appreciation.

It’s late and I walk back home; for them I have nothing but pity,

The moon comes back and I look at it; and I know that I am not empty.

His body is bruised, his strength is flickering,

His path his dark but he must keep running.

With parched throat and red eyes he rummages for solace,

He must keep running, because he doesn’t want the disgrace.

Neck deep in melancholy, he gropes in the mist,

Maybe he will find an angel, or maybe meet someone’s fist.

Loneliness is a sad affair, how he yearns for companionship,

But who is the one, how would he know, who will understand his fix.

Down the road he continues to tread,

In search of answers which a part of him dreads.

He stops short, what if that is not what I am looking for,

But who is he to decide the answer to the question he is tormented for.

All the world’s a stage, the Bard once said, and how well did he say,

All one can do is keep going and pray that he doesn’t sway.

At the far end of his path he spots a divine light,

A smile spreads across his face, the sky suddenly seems bright.

He races towards his destiny, for he has found his elixir

The answer to all his prayers, the key to all his dreams.

He now has a spring in his steps as he takes long strides,

He has a retort for every aspersion cast and for every chide.

He reaches the light and stands humbled before its glory,

“O Magnificient One, render a fitting end to my story.

I have stumbled time and again in the pursuit of triumph,

I am battered and bruised and I cannot bear to fall in any more slumps. ”

The light shines even brighter and blinds him momentarily,

And then it disappears, oh so hastily.

Engulfed with darkness he decides to run again,

After all he is a seasoned runner, be it in any terrain.

He leaves behind the place where he deemed his answers lay,

But as he runs he realizes that all his demons he has slay.

For success did not lie in any divine light shining,

Triumphant was him, the one who kept running.

It’s time. We all wished that it would never come, but when have those kinds of wishes ever come true. I still can’t believe that I will be bidding adieu to my college in a week’s time. It has been my home for the past two years and has been the most fulfilling experience of my education. These years truly helped me enrich as a person as I learnt many valuable lessons which are going to remain with me forever. I would like to say a heartfelt thanks to all the people who helped me gain these insights. All those who were nice to me and even those who weren’t…..you all made me learn a lot and made these two years truly worthwhile. Good things happened to me, for which I am most thankful for. A lot of bad things happened too….but most of them led me to a better place….and those which didn’t, I am sure are eagerly waiting for their chance. A song by Greenday goes, ‘It’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right, I hope you had the time of your life. ’ I really did have the time of my life.

I had many adventures here (almost got bitten by a snake once), learnt how to truly get engrossed in one’s work (some colleagues really inspired me with their passion and zeal towards the course), understood what it felt like to let your hair down and just have fun (thanks to the innumerable DJ parties which are a permanent feature of any function here), discovered that my specialty lies in performing at the last minute (most of my assignments were made like that) and realized that sleep is a luxury (especially during evaluation weeks). However the most beautiful gift this college gave me are the amazing friends I made. I am sure when we are 30 somethings and look back fondly at our college days, we will not remember the harrowing schedules, the “oh so soon” deadlines and the race for marks. What were are actually going to fondly remember is the laughter, the carefree fun and the bond we shared with our beautiful friends. I am sure everyone will agree with me that these friends were the ones which acted as a cushion against this maddening competition to be the best.

I dedicate this post to all my friends who were always there for me and the beautiful memories I will cherish forever. I have always seen true friendship as a guitar….even when the music is not on, the strings are still attached. And I am truly fortunate for being blessed with friends who live up to this belief. I can never forget those friends of mine who despite not being present with me, were there to support me at every step. Be it talking over the phone or chatting online, they have never ever disappointed me and I am sure will never do so in the future.

My friends here were no less. I have no clue how I am going to live without seeing them every day. I am sure I will adjust somehow but that does not change the fact that they will be sorely missed. George Elliot once said, ‘only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love,’ and it’s so true. Now that I know that my days in this place are limited I have started introspecting into how integral they had become in my life. It’s always the little things that you miss. I cannot believe that I am not going to have my meals with them, share the accounts of my day with them, celebrate every little thing, have midnight binge sessions….sounds scary. They managed to do the craziest things to help me out and still behaved like it was not a big deal. But the most important thing I will miss is the unrestrained laughter we shared. One of the beauties of friendship is that you can afford to be on your most idiotic behavior and still be loved and accepted. I really want to thank my friends for being that way. They allowed me to be just myself and loved me for that. In this insane world where we have to wear so many different masks, it was a true solace to find a place where no such masks were required.

I am not very good with goodbyes. It kills me to part with people I love and I cannot stand the myriad emotions overwhelming my being. But I just want to let all my friends know that they mean the world to me and I wish them all the luck in the world in their future endeavors. You have helped me remain sane and are solely responsible for me retaining my optimism and patience in this mad mad world. And it is with great pain that I say goodbye to you. But I guess this is important. Life never remains the same. It is imperative for us to part because we all are meant for bigger things in life. And we are saying goodbye only so that we can meet again after we have achieved our true purpose. As one of my favorite quote goes, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Let us all wear a big smile and celebrate the fact that we happened to each other and gave each other lovely memories which will warm our hearts for many years to come. There is no such thing as the end. Everything is the beginning of something new. I wish everyone best of luck. May each of us fulfill our destinies and attain all the success, love and happiness we are made to attain. I would like to leave my friends on this note,

“Goodbyes are not forever,

Goodbyes are not the end,

It simply means I will miss you,

Until we meet again”